Major life milestone alert. Yes indeed. Finally, after five years I have watched my $230,000 student loan debt dwindle down to ZERO.
Hallelujah!
It has not been easy but I can say now “never again!” What misery those years were. I did not know when I signed the promissory notes for each of those loans how much they would dictate my life and rule my thoughts. Even though all who knew told me that a life as an infectious disease specialist was not a money-making venture, I figured it still provided a six-figure salary, and surely that was more than anyone needed. But, it’s been said over and over that a six-figure salary ain’t what it used to be. It doesn’t help starting out as a full-fledged attending with debt much more than your first-year salary. But who am I kidding? That debt is still more than my seventh year salary!
Doesn’t matter. I’ve done it. I persevered. I owe nobody anything and it feels great. I denied myself the raise that comes with the transition from trainee to attending. I put all that I reasonably could to the student loans. I fancy that compared to other physicians in my age group, I’m sitting quite steady now. No, I don’t own a house. Nor do I rent a fancy condominium in an upscale part of town. No, I’m not driving a brand new luxury car. Nor is my body accustomed to being adorned with Gucci or Jimmy Choos. Have I been taking exotic vacations? You betcha! But they have always been on a budget.
I’m at a crossroads now. Should I give myself a raise now that my number one expenditure by far is no more. How much of a raise do I give myself? I’ll admit that when I got the loan payoff confirmation letter from the bank it didn’t feel like anything. I still feel behind the pack. I watch Suze Orman’s “Can I Afford It” or “How Am I Doing?” segments and feel wholly inadequate. I think back to my naïve teenage years when I expected to be retired by 50 and realize now that will only happen if I win the jackpot.
But it doesn’t hurt to try does it?
So I’ve decided that I will only loosen the purse strings a tad. The past few years were miserable not because of the lack of funds available to me but because of the debt that hovered like the sword of Damocles. So what is another five years of funneling away all that previously allocated to debt repayment now to savings? Gasp! I must be brave. Yes, another five years of delayed gratification so I can sit on a large plush nest egg one day that will allow me to slow it down, maybe work only part of the time and pursue other ventures leisurely.
Ooh, I’m almost giddy. Time to re-work the budget, tighten, yes tighten certain areas like all the wasted groceries allowed to rot in the fridge, while I loosen up in others. It really would be nice to have a maid. I know I am but one person, but I have become so unmotivated to clean up behind myself, it would be nice, and perhaps worth it, to have somebody else do it. A live-in-maid that lays the bed, mops the floors, washes and irons the laundry, and let’s not forget the dishes, oh and wait, plaits my hair, and mends my clothes all while being voiceless and invisible would be a dream come true. And so I will continue to dream. But I could at least get someone to come in once a month to dust and scrub, right? Because, seriously, I can’t for the life of me bring myself to do it properly. No wonder they are called chores. So tasking.
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